Psychologist. Speaker. Trainer. Coach.

How many times have you heard someone say – I don’t want any drama in my life.  That is a very trendy term right now and if you or someone you know is single and dating – that is tossed around like please and thank you!

Everyone claims to hate drama but somehow we find ourselves in it way too often.  Some of us are drama junkies and thrive for it as it gives us a sense of importance.  Some us create it and then swoop in as the savior to “fix” whatever caused it.  How would you like to learn how to navigate through drama with ease? 

What is drama?  It is defined as a situation that involves conflict leading to a climax.

Wow.  Does that change your view of drama already?

We all know someone who seems to attract drama.  Usually these people don’t really want that in their lives but due to some underlying trauma they have experienced in the past, the drama is like a comfortable place for them.  They relive the trauma over and over through drama filled episodes and some of us get ...

Decisions are a mental activity every one of us engages in on a daily basis.  From deciding when to wake up, to what to eat, to how to spend our day, to where to spend our money, to whom to spend our time with... decisions are part of our daily life.

That doesn’t mean we are good at making decisions.  Many of us make very bad decisions every day and only a few of us make good decisions consistently.  Why is there such disparity in this?  What keeps us from making sound decisions? 

Did you know that you could virtually eliminate conflict and confusion by becoming proficient at making decisions?  Once you make a decision, you will find all the people, resources and ideas you need every time.

Indecisiveness is a decision to not make a decision.  This is typically fueled by the fear of failure.  Low self esteem and succumbing to circumstances is why so many people make poor decisions. 

If you have an idea, a desire, a wish, a worthy ideal, make the decision to achieve whatever it is yo...

On Wikipedia, comfort is defined as a sense of physical or psychological ease and a lack of hardship while uncomfortable are people lacking in comfort.  I disagree! I am hung up in the word “lacking”. I think people who are comfortable are lacking. Let me explain.

When you go along in life and stay within the lines, always on the safe side of the street, not taking risks and staying under the radar, you think you are comfortable.  You don’t ruffle feathers, you don’t cause problems, you avoid drama… Ha!

That is not the life I want to live. Not that I desire to ruffle feathers and be that obnoxious guy no one wants around. Far from it.  I want to be the person that takes the risks, that lives in that uncomfortable zone because that is where I am growing – taking life by the horns. Experiencing new things. Having new adventures. Dreaming big dreams and better yet, living the life I desire.

Comfort is a place where boredom sets in.  I define comfort as eating TV dinners in front of t...

A commitment should be treated as a binding contract with yourself. However many of us break our commitments.  We commit to people, banks, work, pets, ourselves… A commitment is something that you have no doubts about. Something you give 100% of your whole self to.  

Commitment is a fulfilling endeavor that when followed through gives an immense sense of accomplishment.  Think about something you have committed to, followed through with to the end, and how you felt at the end knowing you didn’t break it along the way.  Weight loss, getting a formal education, going for the big contract and landing it…

Sometimes commitment can be confused with staying with something long after you should.  Like a dead end job or a loveless marriage. If you have any of this in your life, let’s look at it for a moment.  Ask yourself why you are still in something that you have doubts about or don’t believe in or worse yet, that you give less than all of you to.  People pick up on this subtle behavior. ...

If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts. ~ Albert Einstein I love that quote! Change is that scary word that most people shy away from. I don’t want to change. Why should I change? Why doesn’t everyone else change to accommodate me? If I change, then I will be out of my comfort zone. Why change something that isn’t broken? Change. Asking someone to change is like expecting the sun to not rise. Isn’t it a pointless request? Change comes from within. Change is something we do with ourselves. Only we can control us, no one else. So why ask, expect, anticipate, anything from someone else? Let’s focus on how to change us. First why would anyone want to change themselves? Is it because they don’t like the outcome? Have you ever had a conversation with someone and you really want to change their mind about something? You try so hard to convince them that your point of view is right and theirs is wrong! Can’t they see that? I mean do they realize just how foolish their ideas are? H...

Behavior defined can be a physical thing one does such as a morning routine and it can be non-physical such as replaying negative thoughts all day long. A few behaviors are instinctual and built in while the rest are learned through meeting needs. What this means is that our behaviors are motivated by our needs and therefore we can be manipulated as well as manipulate to have our needs met. So when we have negative behaviors and we want to change them, we find it isn’t always so easy because these learned behaviors that we exhibit are actually rather complex. There are two types of motivation – the motivation to approach something and the motivation to avoid something. When we desire something, we are motivated to approach it therefore receiving positive reinforcement or feedback. When we avoid something, we are motivated to move away from it or we will receive negative reinforcement or feedback. This is pretty simple. We understand that when we eat something sweet, most of us have a p...

So many people wish life was easier, with less challenges and obstacles but without challenges, life becomes stagnant and we stop growing. Challenges help us uncover who we are and it allows us to become better people. Let’s examine a very simple 4-step method to overcoming challenges. First, state the problem clearly. When we are faced with challenges, we tend to avoid the issue and run the other way burying our heads in the sand hoping it goes away. Or we may say – ok, there is an obstacle, instead of heading right to it and plowing through, I am going to look for another path and even though that is not the way I want to go – it looks easier… less headache… but rarely does that work out. When we avoid or go out of our way, we cause more headache in the end. It takes more of our time, it takes more of our energy and we don’t get the end result we are looking for. So take this time to understand what the challenge is. Ask yourself what is the question, what is asked of me, what is the...